Shopping

So this being an awkward humor blog and all I decided to devote another post to one of the most awkward of situations.

Thats right my friends shopping! I am not skilled at shopping, Clothes shopping specifically. Embarrassing or otherwise funny things usually happen when I go so I don’t mind it so much but I don’t do it often and usually try to keep it as short as possible.

On this particular glorious day, I was at dicks sporting goods looking at their under armor stuff. I say stuff because it used to be when you said under armor you meant, skintight spandex, but now they have everything from shoes to hoodies to backpacks. I wouldn’t be surprised if they came out with an under armor wallet! Well actually I might. Anyway before continuing you have to know something about my unique shopping technique.

I wander. Mostly aimlessly, although I usually start out near the area I want, I normally have only a vague idea of what I am there for. So I try not to spend much time looking at one thing. Mostly because I don’t want to be asked multiple times by a sales associate if they can help me find anything. No they can't, I have no clue I want them to direct me to! So I wander. Anyway back to under armor.

I was meandering around the sock department which is close to the under armor dept. I saw a package of socks, they looked like good socks, so I turned them over and started reading the back. Now I guess I was completely absorbed in reading the socks package because when I looked up there was this little African American lady and her kids standing unusually close to me. Close as in less than 5 inches. I thought to myself. “Hmm this is odd I guess she really like socks, or doesn’t care much for personal space.” So I put the socks back.

It all happened so fast!

One minute I am replacing the socks on the rack, the next thing I know she is jumping out of her skin her kids are screaming! Here are her exact words “OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MANAQUIN!”

!!!

I thought this was extremely funny especially since all the mannequins in dicks look like Olympic weight lifters, and I do not.

Needless to say we both ended up laughing about it and it makes a good story